Being honest and being kind can be tough to do simultaneously. There are times that it’s easy to be honest, while other times can require far more tact. There are even times when it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself. It’s not always easy to know when you should speak up and when you should keep your mouth shut.

Even when you’re trying to be helpful, your honesty can backfire. Proceed with caution.

If you’ve decided to speak the truth, there are several things to keep in mind:

1. Be gentle. There are many ways to say something. For example, you could say to your spouse, “Of course it doesn’t fit. You’ve been eating a lot for the last three months. What did you expect would happen?”

– You could also say, “Well, we haven’t been very healthy lately. Maybe we need to skip dessert and start taking a walk after dinner. It might be fun.”

– Avoid the temptation to harm the other person. Focus on relaying the necessary information in a way that is kind to the other person. There are many ways to get your point across to someone. Consider your options before you speak.

2. Ask yourself, “Does this help the other person?” Sometimes, the truth will be ignored even if you choose to share it. Sometimes, the truth only causes problems. If you’re quite certain that being honest isn’t going to be beneficial, it’s best to keep your comments, opinions, and advice to yourself.

3. Start with the positive. Before you say something that might hurt the other person’s feelings, start with a few positive statements. Spend a moment talking about the positive before diving into the negative.

– This can be a great way for dealing with an employee. “We love how you do xyz, and we’re grateful to have you as an employee. But it would be better for the company if you did abc this way instead.”

– Leading with praise or compliments can greatly lessen the sting of constructive criticism. Make it a point to say something pleasant before delivering a harsh truth.

4. Have your conversation in private. Some honest conversations are best done in private. Having the wrong conversation in front of others can create a lot of negativity. That same conversation might not be a big deal if done one on one.

5. Focus on the behavior or situation instead of the person. If you’re addressing someone’s behavior, keep the honesty focused on the behavior instead of making it personal.

6. Question your motivation. Before unleashing your honesty on the other person, ask yourself what your true motivation is. Are you trying to be helpful? Or, are you trying to even the score? Are you doing it because it will benefit the other person, or are you trying to make them feel bad?

7. Think about the likely outcome. Be realistic and ask yourself what the likely outcome will be from your conversation. Do you expect things to go well or poorly?

Examine your true motivations for being honest in each situation. We’re often just doing it for ourselves or causing more harm than good to the other person. You might consider yourself an “honest” person, but there are times when you should consider keeping your comments to yourself.

Each situation is unique, so it’s impossible to have a single rule that always applies. Use your common sense before offering your two cents.

If you didn’t procrastinate, you’d be one of the most powerful people in the world. You’d utilize your time effectively and get a lot of things done each day. Over time, that’s an incredibly powerful way to live.

Unfortunately, we all seem to have a villain inside that tries to thwart our plans at every turn. He makes every other activity seem so enjoyable and the thing we need to do so unenjoyable.

Procrastination can be an incredibly challenging obstacle to overcome.

Deal with your procrastination and beat the villain inside with these strategies:

1. Do the task immediately. The longer you think about doing something, the more reasons your mind will invent to keep you from doing it. Have you ever noticed how you get a great idea, but then you talk yourself out of doing it? It’s the same idea.

– Before you have a chance to think about it, just do it. The longer you linger, ponder, think, relax, or stall, the less likely you’ll be to do anything. You only have a few seconds to take action before your brain will start getting in your way. 1-2-3-GO!

2. Set a time limit. This can be especially helpful when tackling a big task. Rather than trying to do it all at once, tell yourself that you’ll work for an hour, or 30 minutes, or whatever works for you. Knowing that you have a set ending point can ease the challenge of getting started.

– Once you get busy, you might find that you just keep on working after the time has expired.

– Using a timer is also a great way to focus your attention. It’s interesting how much more you can accomplish when you’re racing against the clock.

3. Only do a tiny bit. Getting started is often the most difficult part. Make it so easy to get started that you can’t possibly fail. Need to write a history paper for school or a report for work? Tell yourself that you’re just going to do one paragraph. If that’s too hard, make it a single sentence.

– Again, after you get started, you might decide to keep on going. It’s amazing what a little momentum can do.

4. Start with the big items. We like to start the day with the easy things, the things that won’t take too much time. Unfortunately, the longer you put off doing the bigger stuff, the harder it is to get started on it.

– Avoid this situation by attacking those bigger, less pleasant tasks first thing in the morning. Save the easy stuff for later in the day. You’ll be able to have a more peaceful afternoon.

5. Figure out your primary distractions at the moment and do them later. Those distractions can be so appealing. Whether it’s texting your friend about the weekend or playing a few more games of Candy Crush, distractions are more enjoyable than doing what actually needs to be done.

– Use your distractions as rewards. Tell yourself you can do the thing you really want to do after you get a certain amount of work completed. You’ll get your work done and still have fun before the day is over.

How much do you procrastinate? How much does it impact your life? What could you accomplish if you could greatly reduce your procrastination?

There are many strategies for dealing with procrastination. The trick is to figure out which one works most effectively for you. Try the methods above and any other methods that appeal to you. Decide for yourself how to best manage your procrastination tendencies.

Some people have social confidence to spare. It’s easy to see that some children are seemingly born with great social confidence, while others are not. Social confidence seems to come and go for most adults.

A serious lack of social confidence can lead to isolation and stifle career growth. If there’s one part of your life in which it pays to be confident, it’s in your social interactions.

Use these strategies to increase your social confidence and feel comfortable in all social situations:

1. Practice. Every person that crosses your path is a practice partner for your social skills. The more practice you get, the better you’ll become at interacting with others. The better you become, the more confident you’ll feel. There are all kinds of things you can practice:

– Eye contact
– Small talk
– Non-verbal communication
– Telling jokes
– And more

2. Rehearse. Imagine yourself being successful socially. Before you head into a social situation, rehearse in your mind. See yourself being confident and competent. Imagine others responding to you in a positive way. In time, you’ll learn to feel the same way out in the real world.

3. Adopt an effective attitude. It’s not a matter of life and death. No one is judging you or spending any of their time thinking about you. In fact, they’re probably wondering what you’re thinking about them.

– Interacting with people in a social context should be fun and pleasant. Have a reasonable perspective on the situation.

4. Focus on self-development. When you feel better about yourself, you’ll be more socially confident. Whether that means getting in shape, learning a new skill, or meditation, any enhancements you make will leave you feeling more confident.

5. Learn. Learn about communication. Pick one area, such as nonverbal communication, and become an expert. Then, get out and practice. When you’ve mastered that, pick a new area to learn about. The more you know, the better you’ll become. That leads to real confidence.

6. Avoid the need to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be the funniest person at the party. You don’t have to be the most charming person in the bar. Perfection is an unreasonable goal that leads to anxiety and a lack of confidence.

7. Join a social group. You know a group of people that hang out together. It might be at work. It might be a friend that has a separate group of friends. See if you can join, too. Finding the right group of people can boost your social confidence.

– Perhaps you already have a group of friends. Spend more time with them. Or, you might form your own group and become the social director!

8. Combine social events with activities you’re good at. Are you a great softball player? Join a softball league. Are you an expert at riding a motorcycle? Join a motorcycle club. Find an activity you excel at and turn it into a social activity.

– Make a list of everything you do better than the average person. Now, find a way to do that in a group setting. You might join a band, a chess club, or a group that square dances on the weekend.

Think about how much your life would change if you were more socially confident. How would it impact your career? How would your social life be affected?

It’s hard to think of any potential downside to having greater social confidence. If you weren’t lucky enough to be born with perpetual confidence, you’ll want to grow and nurture this important attribute.