Forever Friends: A story of self-determination and a lost friendship
Emily refused to let Ella make her own decisions…
..And it cost them both the friendship.
Ella the Elephant fell in love with Mason the monkey. She knew it was an unconventional union. But she was beaming because they were so madly in love.
Ella was absolutely over the moon due to her newfound love. So, of course, she had to tell her best friend, Emily!
While the two ladies were bathing in the sun, Ella found it difficult to contain her excitement and exclaimed, “I’m in love with Mason!”
Immediately, Emily stood up and screamed, “What? Mason? He’s a monkey; you can’t love a monkey! I don’t think this is a good idea.”
Ella was incredibly offended. Trying to remain polite, she sheepishly replied, “Emily, I know we’re best friends. But I feel it’s out of line for you to say something like that to me.”
At this point, Emily was flailing around in a frantic rage, “Out of line? You’re my best friend. This monkey is bad news. This love is unacceptable to our kind!”
Ella was growing tired of Emily’s judgmental behavior.
Before she could say anything, Emily walked up to her and dramatically demanded, “Well, if you’re going to be with him, I refuse to be your best friend. I will not tarnish my name by associating with a monkey lover. It’s either him or me!”
Ella was at a loss for words and too shocked to give a reaction. She simply got up and gave Emily a shameful gaze as she walked away.
MORAL: If you love your friend, accept them for who they are, even if you disagree with some of their decisions.
Emily felt a sense of entitlement. She felt she had the right to dictate Ella’s decisions simply because she was her best friend. But Ella effectively reminded her that she is free to live her own life as she sees best.
It’s tough to know how far to take your concern when dealing with close friends.
You may feel like you have to be the guard dog of your loved ones. But your vow to keep them safe can be misconstrued as obsessive and controlling behavior.
If you have nothing nice to say, it’s best to say nothing at all.
No matter how loud you scream or how hard you stomp in order to get your way, you are in no position to be the authority figure in your friend’s life.
It’s vital to maintaining healthy friendships that you know where to draw the line between concern and judgment.
Once you learn to express your concern while keeping a mindset that your advice may go unused, your friendships will strengthen tenfold.
- Do I expect my friends to follow my lead in all situations?
- How can I tactfully express my concern without sounding demanding?
- Do I express possessive behavior over my loved ones?
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I am a Board Certified Life Coach, a Board Certified Health Coach, and a teacher of Mindfulness Living who helps people unlock their potential and live life on Purpose
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