Understanding Our Goals

How often do we look at a person and judge them harshly without knowing their full life story? More often than not, we scrutinize a person without learning who they are. We blame them for their suffering without understanding the circumstances that have resulted in hardship and grief.

By developing our compassion, we can begin to understand another person’s sorrow without judgement. We no longer blame another person for difficulties in life; instead, we begin to attempt to understand a person’s hardships. As a result, we can take action to help those in our lives, without judgement. Recognizing that a person is suffering and offering help differs from other forms of helpful or humane behavior in that its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering.

Compassion is a feeling we possess when we have a shared sense of suffering—most often combined with a yearning to alleviate others’ suffering—to demonstrate kindness without asking for anything in return.

As people interested in living spiritual lives, we have discovered wonderful methods for healing ourselves. We have our own ways of freeing our hearts, have learned to live healthy lifestyles with proper nutrition and exercise, and have learned to take time for ourselves to heal and grow.

However, we often ignore others’ suffering. Our world is so full of violence, anger, injustice, and hate. As spiritual beings living material lives, we each have a responsibility in our own lives to raise ourselves above darkness, and to choose to see love over fear. Compassion is an essential skill that can be improved over time to transform your life and increase your happiness.

Life is busy. Having compassion is a process of learning to see something from another person’s point of view. Through the complications of modern life, we stop making an effort to be in others’ Shoes, or to see others’ points of view when we disagree with them. We may even begin to believe that such views are intended to, or actually is hurting us. Especially in the midst of disagreements, taking a moment to pause—thus taking ourselves out of the equation and attempting to see another person’s viewpoint—can be crucial to developing a compassionate heart. It is hard to wake up every day with an open heart and hope for everyone else’s suffering to end in this world. This is not just the end of suffering for our loved ones, but even those against whom we compete or hold grudges, who we have not forgiven, who have caused us harm, and who are toxic.

Below, find seven signs you’re a truly compassionate person:

1. You find a shared spirit with other people.
2. You act from a place of empathy.
3. You’re kind to yourself and to others in your life.
4. You teach others through leading by example.
5. You’re mindful of other people’s feelings.
6. You have high emotional intelligence and pay attention to other people’s feelings.
7. You express an attitude of gratitude.

Humans have a natural capacity for compassion. However, everyday stress, social pressures, and life experiences can suppress it; this can potentially result in physical and psychological problems. The good news is that we can train ourselves to nurture others while developing our compassionate instincts. This process requires patience, steady care, proper tools, and a supportive environment.

When we commit to practicing compassion, our relationships become more intimate, anxiety and depression lessen, our minds become quieter, and we become more attractive to people because they can feel our hearts. By being compassionate, we are likely to discover our callings in life. You even feel the deep fulfillment of knowing you are contributing to a more loving world. May all beings be happy and free, and may all other words, thoughts, and actions contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for others.

Seven Practices to Develop a Compassionate Mindset

1. Develop a morning ritual. Greet each morning with a ritual. I recommend following the principals of the Miracle Morning, and adhering to the Life S.A.V.E.R.S. established by Hal Elrod. S – Silence, A – Affirmations, V – Visualization, E – Exercise, R – Reading, S – Scribe. By prioritizing time for ourselves and our own personal growth—even when we’re busy—our hearts are more open to live more compassionate lives.
2. Empathy practice. The first step in cultivating compassion is to develop empathy for your fellow human beings. Many of us believe that we have empathy, and on some level nearly all of us do. But many times we are centered on ourselves, and we let our sense of empathy get rusty.
3. Stop thinking so much about yourself. This sounds harsh, I know, but there’s an ancient Indian saying that the total amount of unhappiness in the world comes from thinking about ourselves, and the total amount of happiness in the world comes from thinking about other people. It’s the reason we get so excited, as adults, to give rather than receive. It’s also the reason we want to see our children do better than we have, and why cultivating love and compassion for a partner feels so great in the first place.
4. Commonalities practice. Instead of recognizing the differences between yourself and others, try to recognize what you have in common. At the root of it all, we are all human beings; we need food, and shelter, and love. We crave attention, recognition, affection, and above all, happiness. Reflect on these commonalities you have with every other human being, and ignore the differences.
5. Reach out with genuine concern. When you ask someone how he or she is doing, turn your full attention to the person in front of you. Let go of whatever you’re feeling and open your heart to your concern for their well-being. While at first it may seem pretentious, soon your caring will be genuine and you will see the difference it’s making.
6. Remember the whole person. When someone is spiraling onto a negative path, you could lose sight of their positive qualities. Make it a point to remind yourself at that moment of a particular strength she/he has. Maybe it’s his loyalty, humor, or patience. See the whole person.
7. Stop judging. Your inner judge is always on duty. Whether you’re thinking of yourself or your neighbor, your mind is certainly making a judgement. This is what it does; however, how many times a day do you think, “I’m stupid, or I feel ugly today?” Do you ever catch yourself commenting on a co-worker’s outfit in your head? That is your mind passing judgement.

Spirituality means something different to each and every person; it does not fit in a box and it does not conform to one person’s ideals. To live a spiritual life a person does not need to withdraw from the material world. However, some key components to living a spiritual life are learning to live in harmony with the world around us, finding balance, and living a financially stable life.

Each person’s understanding of balance and each person’s financial means is different, and no two people are similar. Some people find balance by having a strong social life full of activities, while others find balance by living quietly at home. Some find balance through physical activity, while others find balance through professional pursuits. We all have different needs, wants and desires. Balance is met when we spend time in areas of pursuit that bring us fulfillment. True balance is found when we have full work, life, and spiritual integration.

However, it is impossible to find balance and live a spiritually conscious life if we are continuously plagued by financial difficulties and stress. We live in a world of weapons of mass distraction. We are bombarded with advertising designed to convince us that we need the latest, the greatest, and the most expensive to be successful and happy. With all the pressure to have the latest and greatest, how do you live a more spiritual life in such a material world?

I am not a financial expert.

I could not explain to you how savings works, the effects of compounding, or the benefits of putting aside 20% of your income each month. I focus most of my energy on learning how to coach people on ways they can unlock their true potential, achieve their goals, and discover how to live their life on purpose. Nevertheless, I know that my life is easier, and I have more time for myself and my personal pursuits, when I live within my financial means, maintain a budget and actively save money each month. My life is better when I am financially responsible.

To live within your means and have a spiritual practice, a person should begin to spend less than or at least equal to the amount they earn each month. However, for most people, in the age of weapons of mass distraction, it’s a lot easier said than done. We constantly compare ourselves to others, and base success on the amount of possessions we own in relation to our neighbors. Yet when we begin to practice contentment with what we have accomplished in life we become less concerned with status in relations to others, and we begin to focus more of our energy on bettering ourselves and the world around us. We start to need less stuff and life becomes easier. Believing that the new object we buy will bring us happiness is based on a feeling of lack that all too often enters our minds. In this sense, lack is that sense of ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not whole without that new thing’, when really we always were and always will be good enough no matter what. May all beings be happy and free, and may all our words, thoughts and actions contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.

 

1. Count your blessings. With the attitude of gratitude in life, what we have becomes enough. When you find yourself unhappy with something, or with what you don’t have, take a moment to count all the good things in your life. Focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t.
2. Stop, and consider why you want something. When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a need or a want. If it’s a want, take a pause. It’s good to wait 30 days — keep a 30-day list… when you want something, put it on the list with the date, and if you still want it in 30 days, you can buy it. Consider why you want something too. Are you not content with what you already have? Why not?
3. Show people you appreciate them. It’s good to appreciate people, but it’s even better to show them. Give them a hug, smile, spend time with them, thank them out loud, thank them publicly, breathe, and smile. Once again, advice from one of my favorite monks, but it works in this context. Sometimes when we take the time to breathe and smile, it can change our outlook on life.
4. Learn to enjoy the simple things. Instead of wanting to buy expensive things and spend money on doing things like eating out or entertainment, learn to enjoy stuff that’s free. Conversations and walks with other people. Spending time outdoors. Watching a DVD or playing board games. Going to the beach. Playing sports. Running. These things don’t cost much, and they are awesome.