Can You Really Have It All?

Of course, everyone wants to “have it all,” but is that even possible? There are a lot of opinions on the topic. Some people believe it’s entirely possible. Others insist that you can’t even some close.

Like many things in life, the most reasonable answer is, “It depends.” You can certainly have a lot if you’re willing to make enough of a sacrifice.

Consider these aspects:

• 1. Decide what having it all means to you. Everyone says they want to “have it all,” but what does that mean to you? Make a list of everything that you would have to have and experience in your life on a regular basis to be 100% satisfied with your life. Take all the time you need. Keep these categories in mind:
  • Relationships
  • Health and physical goals
  • Possessions
  • Hobbies
  • Career
  • Community

• 2. Notice the items that are under your control and those that are not. Review your list. Divide your list into two columns: Those things you can control and those you cannot.
  • You can’t control your spouse’s level of patience, tolerance, or their waistline.
  • You can’t control every aspect of your children.
  • You don’t have complete control over your career.

You’ll quickly find there’s not a lot that you can control in your life beyond your focus, effort, and attitude. Worrying about other things is an exercise in futility.

You can’t have everything. Time, money, and energy are limitations. Consider the items below:

• Committed spouse
• Active community members
• Committed parent
• Excellent friend
• Great employee
• Great boss
• Mentor
• Perfect neighbor
• Big house
• Luxury car
• And the list goes on

Just reading this list can be enough to start an ulcer. How well could you accomplish all of those things and still enjoy your life?

With your idea of having it all, will you still be relaxed and happy? A simple life leads to higher levels of satisfaction and happiness. The more complicated your life, the less satisfied you’re likely to feel over the long term.

Life is about priorities. You can’t have everything, but you can have a lot. The more you want, the more it’s going to cost you. The more you want, the more complicated your life will become. The more complicated it is, the more scattered your energy and focus become.

• What are your priorities in life?
• Based on those priorities, re-answer the first item on this list.
• The more things you ultimately want in your life, the lower your performance level will have to be in one or more areas.

“Can I have it all?” is an ambiguous question. Can you have it all if having it all means having a spouse, children, a home, a pleasant career, and a circle of friends? Sure. Can you have it all if you want to perform at the highest possible level in multiple categories in your life? Doubtful.

Having it all is limited by your definition of having it all.

There’s only so much time in a day. There’s a limit to how much anyone can do. Look at the most successful people in the world. Some other aspect of their life is usually a complete mess. It’s almost a universal truth. Excelling at one area requires making a sacrifice in others. It’s up to you to determine how much you’re willing to sacrifice.

So, you can have it all, provided that what you want is reasonable, and you’re committed.

Did you plan out the last five years of your life? Most people don’t plan ahead that far. We often don’t even plan out the next day.

Imagine how much you could accomplish over the next five years if you made a reasonable plan and stuck to it.

Without a plan your life is unlikely to change much. You put yourself at the mercy of luck.

Consider these aspects of your life:

1. Finances. Think about where you want to be financially. Consider income, net worth, debt, savings, and investments. Are there new income streams you want to create? What are your future plans for spending? Do you want to purchase a house? A boat? An investment property?
2. Health. What are your current health challenges? How much do you want to weigh? What type of diet do you want to follow? How fit do you want to be?
3. Career. Where do you see yourself in five years? Where do you want to be working? What do you want to be doing? Do you need to go back to school? What is your dream job?
4. Relationships. Are there any relationships you’d like to create or dissolve? Do you want to have children or more children?
5. Personal Development. Do you want to learn to speak Spanish or to play the piano? Would you like to learn how to dance? What would you like to learn or to become? What skills do you need to acquire to make the most of the next five years?
6. Adventure. What would you like to do? Climb a mountain? Go skydiving? See a volcano? What adventures would you like to experience over the next five years?

Write down what you want for each of these six areas of your life. Once you’ve completed that, begin the process of making a plan for the future. It’s not enough to know where you’re going. You must plan your path, too.

These strategies will help you to create a plan and execute it:

• 1. Set goals. Create a few goals for each area of your life and set deadlines for each goal. Avoid just having long-term goals. It’s important to have shorter-term goals that lead up to your bigger goals.

It’s hard to maintain focus on goals that require more than 10 weeks to reach. Break your goals down into smaller chunks.

• 2. Write a plan. You know what you want to accomplish. You have goals. Create a detailed plan about what you want to accomplish over 10-week segments of time. Just start at the end and keep working back to the present day. Make beginning simple enough that you could literally start doing something today.

• 3. Create habits. Goals are easy to achieve if you can create the right habits. The challenge is figuring out the right habits and then implementing them. With effective habits, success is a cinch.

There’s a lot of material available on how to create habits. Educate yourself. It’s an incredibly valuable skill to have.

Choose a direction for your life by choosing a destination. Most people fail to plan their lives in any meaningful way. We often keep our focus too short to ever create anything substantial in the future. A 5-year goal is a good step towards making impressive changes in your life.

It’s not easy to stand out and reveal yourself to the world. We learn early in life that it’s often easier to blend in. Standing out in a school setting often results in bullying and teasing. It gets easier in adulthood, but those early lessons can be hard to shake.

However, the world needs your individuality. And you need to be yourself. Life is never completely satisfying while you’re pretending to be less than you really are.

Let the world see exactly who you are:

• 1. Understand that everyone is trying to fit in. We all have an innate desire to fit in with the crowd. It’s not comfortable to stand out, but that’s where you’ll find the most success and satisfaction.

Most of the famous people you can name were able to overcome the need to be anonymous. They were willing to put their best and unique gifts out into the world.

• 2. Know that people are respected for daring to be unique. Think about the people you know that are willing to be themselves regardless of the circumstances. Their level of comfort is attractive

Understand that people will be jealous of you if you can be comfortable being yourself. There’s a lot to be gained socially by presenting yourself honestly. Give it a try.

• 3. Identify what’s unique about you. What can you do better than most people? What are your natural gifts and talents? What is unique about you? What can you bring to the world that’s in short supply? What is your greatest value to the world? How are you different from others?

• 4. Find ways to show yourself to the world that aren’t too uncomfortable. Suppose your talent is painting, but you fear showing anyone your work. You might choose to post your artwork anonymously online. Or you might try to sell your art in a gallery that’s out of town.

What can you do to begin exposing yourself to the world slowly and comfortably? Maybe you can start with your friends.

Give your opinions freely. One way to show your individuality is to just share your opinions when appropriate.

• 5. Focus on the positive. When you receive some results from taking that first step, focus on the positive. Allow yourself to enjoy the compliments. Notice how any criticism doesn’t really mean a thing. The better you can make yourself feel, the more comfortable you’ll be taking a bigger step.

• 6. Find like-minded people. There are people out there trying to do the same thing you are. Keeping with the artist theme, you could find other artists to spend time with. You can support each other. You can learn from each other. You’ll feel braver if you’re part of a community.

• 7. Continue to grow. Always be pushing forward. You don’t have to go fast to end up someplace great. You simply need to keep moving.

The key to massive success is to keep yourself just slightly uncomfortable and get used to that feeling.

The world needs your best, so be willing to put it out there in a bigger and better way

We admire those that are willing to be themselves. In a sea of seemingly average people, those brave enough to present themselves honestly to the world are valued and respected. You can be one of those people. Take a deep breath and reveal your true self. Share your talents and your weirdness. The world needs you.